The End is in Sight

Our court battle (and, I do mean battle) has been over for just over 10 weeks and I still am finding it hard to sit and write the "ending"... For a while I thought it was because I didn't want to think about things. Then I thought maybe it was because I had a lot of other things going on in my life.  Now I realize, It is because I want to do it justice and I am afraid I can't... The accumulation of YEARS of my life and my daughters life all came down to this one day... AND WE WON...

It was not a huge, grand finish, like I somewhat wanted.  But, it is over.  100% over.

And, in writing it, I want to express every detail because it is crystal clear in my mind.  And, I worry I will fail with that task.

Buckle up, and I will do the best I can do with the most important things I think you might want to know after this long journey...




Court was currently set for April but it turns out our first and most important witness, DJ, Ellie's therapist wasn't going to be in town.  We made a motion to change the date and the next available was June 4.

At the beginning of May preparation for the trial got underway.  More correspondences between my attorney and myself.  So I wasn't taken too off guard when I got an email late May 15th.

Then I started reading.

DP's attorney was pulling out the case.  He was saying he couldn't represent his client anymore for several reasons and wanted off the case.  Apparently, you have to put in a request to be taken off, we (my side) have the right to argue, if we want, and then the judge decides whether that lawyer can be let go or not.

My attorney suggested not arguing, saying most of the time judges grant this particular motion.  Waste of money and time to argue.

We continued to get ready: lists of questions for me, subpoenaing our witnesses, lists of questions for the witnesses (I am not entirely sure that is what you call them at this point, but that is what I am going with), etc.

Getting ready for this trial now wasn't as clear cut as before.  Now, with DP representing himself, it was a crap shoot of what would happen.  No legal guidelines would be followed by him.

Ellie had an appointment to meet with her lawyer, SH, to make sure SH was representing Ellie as clearly as possible.  We sat, this time, in the big conference room.  Chairs triple Ellie's size.  10 of them around a huge wooden table. Ellie, her lawyer and myself.  Feeling small in a gigantic room. Ellie's lawyer, though big in spirit and personality, isn't much bigger than Ellie... I always feel huge next to the to two of them, but in this room, even felt small.

"I want to be there." Ellie said speaking of the court date that was approaching.

SH explained why that wasn't a good idea.  I had done so about 3 dozen times, but Ellie's drive to have the judge really hear HER was strong.  She wasn't letting it go.
SH, who is all of 85 pounds, a very petite young woman, really put her foot down after the third plea.

"Ellie, I will not allow you to be in the same room as your dad."
Ellie correct her with his name, instead of "your dad."

She then asked, is there anything you want to tell DP?

Ellie took the 8X11 yellow legal pad from SH's hands.  She wrote "I HATE U" and set down the pen.
The room was eerily quiet.

Those are strong words.

In our house we don't use the word "hate."

25 cents in a jar, if you do.  To Ellie those words are as serious as you get.

My little girl just stared straight ahead.

SH finally broke the silence.  She asked if there was anything specific Ellie wanted her to tell the judge.  Ellie asked if she could write the judge a letter.  SH thought that was a great idea and said she would give that to me and Ellie for homework.  We were there on a Wednesday and she'd like to have it by Friday.

"No," Ellie said.  "I want to write it now."
Never one to stand in her way, SH suggested we take the legal pad and I transcribe as Ellie spoke.  She'd excuse herself and be back in a bit.
Ellie started speaking.

The words that came from my little girl's mouth were intense.  She spelled it out for Judge R. as if she were an eloquent woman with many more years of wisdom than she and I had together.  She had obviously been thinking about what she would say and she was ready with words so powerful tears burned my eyes.  Someday, if Ellie wants to share that letter, I will encourage her.  It is not for me to do here.

Instead, it is for me to say our system is messed up.  For any child to have to go through what Ellie has had to endure - not just the pain of what her own flesh and blood did to her - but what the judicial system continued to do to her time and time again, dragging this mess out, is ugly.  It is hurtful and wrong and someday I hope to do something to change it.

We gave the letter to SH and I told her I hoped it was the last time I set foot in her office. She smiled and hugged us both and Ellie and I were on our way.

                                                       ********

Just before you go to court, the lawyer(s) write a summary of what they are going to say to the Judge and the court and present it to the Judge prior to the actual hearing.  I am not entirely sure of the hows and the whys behind this, but in my head it makes sense to re-familiarize the Judge with what has happened (the document also states the history of the case) and what is going to happen.  I would assume people in that role see many cases and can't keep them all clear in their heads. Then it basically also states what our side is going to present.  I think this gives the judges some time prior to court to think about what they are going to say...

Sitting with the pre-court documents from my lawyer and Ellie's lawyer a couple nights prior to our big day, my heart was so heavy. Just remembering what we had been through. And, also looking at all of the facts of this very clear cut case.  The time, energy, money, pain, sweat and tears that had gone into all of this made no sense.

Sleep was no where to be found as I played every scenario over in my head for our next appearance in court.

The day finally came.

I was, of course, first to be there. Always had been in the past, why start anything different now.

DJ, Ellie's therapist came next.  Then Ellie's attorney and finally mine.
CS (the person who said DP needed a psycho-sexual evaluation), our final witness was going to be showing up about an hour into the hearing.

DP... no where to be found.

Not there.

Court was on for a 9:30 start.

At 9:30, I knew in my heart, he wasn't coming.

As hard as I could, I pleaded with my lawyer to not let the Judge continue this.  Of course, it was not in her hands, as none of it had been all along, and she agreed with me, but I was fearful that he would again say, "we will come back in 6 months..."

9:45, "will you please stand for the Honorable JR.".

I stood. Shaking.

My side was full.
The other side of the courtroom empty.

Judge R had us sit and started speaking.

I will paraphrase, "Amy Emery is here with her counsel... yada yada yada... DP is not here."

Then he looked at me. He said, "the court has wronged you and your daughter and we owe you a sincere apology.  I am sorry you have had to go through so much to prove what you had been saying all along.  I am sorry for your daughter, because I can't imagine what she has been through and I hope you will tell her I have said that. DP will have no rights to Ellie, no access, no medical records, no access to school records.  He does not have the right to appeal."

I was a heaping pile of mush.  It was over.
The words I had so longed to hear, were spoken.

The apology, though it didn't matter a whole lot, was even sincere.  It was heart felt.  He knew, to some degree, that he had made this terrible tragedy go on far too long.

The good news on the back end, is because it was so complex and painstakingly drug out, DP cannot appeal. Done. Shut. Case closed. Gavel hit.

I sat, and cried.  They were tears of happiness and relief.  Tears that had been building for years.  Literally years.

Finally, I was able to come back to life a bit, hugs were given, congratulations were said and I felt happy.

That happiness had been seriously void from our lives for awhile.  This fight, this battle was so hard and stressful. And though we weren't constantly in court, or constantly talking about it, it was at the root of our everyday.  There was no way around that...

And, now it was over.

I drove straight to Ellie's school because I could not wait to tell her.
When I got to the front office, they called her out of her classroom and I stood in the hall.

As she rounded the corner she saw me and her gait slowed a bit.  Of course she wasn't expecting me.  She might have even been so busy in school work that she forgot was happening that day.  She was surprised to see me standing there.

I bent down to be at her level - she was still many feet away from me.

"we won." I said.

"We won?" She asked back

"YES." I yelled, probably too loudly for a hallway.

Ellie sprinted toward me and barreled into my arms.  I held her so tightly in that hallway and we both cried. Tears of joy this time.  It had been awhile.